We know all too well that sometimes, despite our best efforts, “happily ever after” only translates into the sadness of separation; that many a times our experience of love is not at all what poets and sages have proclaimed it to be: a harmonizing unifying force of life that knows no discord, that is as beautiful as it is pure, innocent, full, and blissful. Is it because in our fiercely independent, sexually emancipated culture, we have become too jaded for love?
We need not look too far for the seeds of discontent in love. Ayurveda has answers for us, so does Vaidya Mishra, who has helped countless couples over the past almost 20 years here in the West. He has guided couples overcome differences that were leading into separation, helping them translate irreconcilable differences into the building blocks of stronger relationships.
According to Vaidya Mishra, it is all quite simple and practical: doshic imbalances, nutritional deficiencies, as well as toxic accumulation, can cause undue stress on the individual physiology and nervous system, creating problems in communication, eventually challenging and weakening the emotional bond and bringing about separation.
Based on his two decades of experience in America, Vaidya Mishra identifies 2 main suspects: Prana Vata and Sadhaka Pitta.
Prana Vata
In Ayurveda the principle that governs the flow of energy in and out of the mind, keeping things in check and running is related to the movement of Prana Vata.
If you work in a stressful environment, spending plenty of time on computers, or other EMF devices, then you are prone to imbalance your Prana Vata. Over-exposure to EMF devices increases and imbalances Prana Vata by burning the Soma in your body. Vaidya talks a lot about Soma, explaining that it is the presence of soothing cooling and nurturing energy in our physiology. It keeps things in check, stable, and balanced.
When Prana Vata goes off, you may experience undue incessant anxiety, lack of focus. If you don’t fix this, then your imbalance will build up and start to disrupt your sleep – you may feel tired even if you sleep long hours at night as your sleep will become lighter and less restful. Or you may feel you are not able to fall asleep even though you feel tired. Eventually, this will bring about emotional irritability – you will feel you are emotionally cranky for no evident reason. When Vata goes high, it dries up the Soma in your physiology. Soma is what keeps us grounded, calm, and balanced. When you lack Soma, you may feel more dryness in your body – this will be expressed in different ways in your physiology, it can either be through dry skin, or dry stool, etc.
When Vata is high and Soma goes low, this disrupts the balance of Ojas. Ojas the is the finest bi-product of digestion and overall cellular metabolism. It is also the factor that is intimately connected to our hormonal balance. When Ojas is out of balance, we may experience hormonal imbalance.
If your hormonal balance goes off, you will be less receptive to the love and affection coming from your partner. Negativity may also set in like a silent dark cloud, and everything starts to look grey and glum. This can result in undue strain on your relationship. You will think “what is wrong?” “what has changed?” but not be able to do something about it.
What can you do?
First, find out what it is that is triggering your Prana Vata imbalance. What the “hetu” or root cause is. Is it
- over-exposure to EMF?
- Consistent late bedtimes?
- Lack of balance between rest and activity?
- Eating drying foods?
- Skipping or delaying meals?
Whatever your hetu, try to address and minimize the imbalance as much as possible also by adopting a Vata pacifying diet. Add to your weekly self-care ritual self-massage with SVA
Vata oil with Magnesium and Vit D. Add the Herbal Memory Nectar drops: Prana Balance; add Yasad (Zinc) drops; Wild amla tablets or drops.
Incorporate meditation into your daily routine – 20 minutes even once a day goes far; try to slow down and shift gears to have a balance between rest and activity. Use the Vaidya’s Jasmine Inhaler 3-4 times a day.
When at work or working on a prject, use SuperSport roll-on frequently to support your vibrational channels.
Follow the SVA guidelines to balance EMF – you can view Vaidya’s booklet on www.chandika.com.
Schedule time together on your calendar. Make sure you have some time put aside, no matter how busy your schedule, to communicate with your partner, and be there just for him or her for that allotted time.
Sadhak Pitta
Vaidya Mishra says: “Sadhak Pitta imbalance is one of the most prominent imbalances I have seen in my practice. It creates most of the problems in relationships.” Sadhak Pitta is the principle that allows a vaidya to determine the balance in the emotions, whether an individual is feeling upbeat or down and low. Sadhak Pitta can get aggravated due to many different hetu-s or causes.
Interesting to know is that the most prominent hetu or cause for a Sadhak Pitta imbalance is:
- a low protein diet, or keeping a diet that totally lacks in animal protein.
- Or B12 deficiency
Yet other hetu-s may result from:
- not eating on time,
- skipping and delaying meals,
- having tea coffee on empty stomach,
- consuming alcoholic beverages,
- having a pitta predominant constitution and eating too much pungent food,
- watching emotionally disturbing movies,
- going to bed late,
These are particularly true for the pitta predominant individuals who become vegetarian. When the diet changes and does not contain enough protein to balance the high pitta, then the individual will become emotionally sensitive and even cranky. In this situation, it will be hard for them to perceive the love and affection coming from partner. In other circumstances, they may doubt or become suspicious; harbor emotionally negative thoughts. It will become very difficult for a high sadhak pitta individual to trust and thus to get involved in or maintain a good relationship. They may self-sabotage…
What can you do?
- Do not delay your meals under any circumstance. Eating on time will make sure that your body’s chemistry does not go off affecting your mind and hearth’s emotional balance.
- Make sure you incorporate some animal protein into your diet; this does not necessarily mean eating meat if you have chosen to become vegetarian, you can also just add milk, yogurt, ghee, fresh homemade cheese (paneer);
- Rose is the Pitta individual’s best friend – Vaidya Mishra has formulated a full spectrume of Rose products to help you: chose from organic Rose petal preserve; Rose nectar drops; Rose Inhaler; Rose Essential oil; infuse Rose buds for a soothing cup of tea; etc.
- Alternately, you can also incorporate other cooling and soothing ingredients such as sandalwood – use the SVA Herbal-Memory Nectar drops;
- Make sure you have something to eat every 3-4 hours – snack on fruits or a healthy snack (soaked nuts and dry fruits, homemade muffins or scones) to keep your pitta in check
- Incorporate Pitta Masala and Pitta tea into your diet – you will love the flavor and the aroma;
- Use Vaidya’s SVA B12 transdermal cream twice a day on your pulse and lower back;
- Keep a pitta pacifying diet – nothing sour (vinegar, lemon); avoid onion and garlic; stay away from pungent spices and chillies; etc
- Add a weekly self-massage ritual with Pitta Massage oil with Magnesium;
- Use Vaidya’s Rose inhaler.
- Chant the Heart Lotus mantra or listen to it playing in the background.
- Wear blue Heart Lotus beeds
- Apply the Samadhi set with Ashoka mornings and evenings, ideally before meditation.
